Whisper

-by Anand Kumar Sharma


I was waiting outside the building for her as usual for 15 minutes. This is what girls like to do- ‘Irritate’. Yeah! This is what I feel. They will just call you half an hour before and let you wait for ages. At last, she came down. Pragya! The name just poured out. Her curly hairs and big beautiful eyes which wore kajal made her look more gorgeous. Actually, I felt that I can wait for ages for that particular look. She came near me, gave me a small hug and whispered something in my ears. Listening to that didn’t shock me much because I was ready for that day to hear those words. She was sad for me and I was as usual happy for her because I always prayed for her happiness. Now you would be thinking what did she whisper? Umm… nothing great. She said that she cannot take our relationship further and asked me to move on. Yeah! That’s all that she said. I just had my break up. I was already prepared for this day because I knew this will happen. I rejected her the day she proposed to me saying that it is merely an infatuation and not more than that. But she argued. It was not like I didn’t like her but that fact was I loved her so much that I felt she could find a better person than me. I felt it little complicated that time. What do you think will a 15-year-old boy will understand at an age when he is supposed to remember that Babur was the son of Humayun. No…Humayun was the son of Babur. No..Ughhh…just leave this aside that who was the son of whom. The point is I was just an innocent kid back then who knew nothing. I didn’t know what love was but I knew there was no harm in loving someone unconditionally.

I thought that I was ready to bear the rejection. But I wasn’t. My emotions flowed into me but the outburst of my emotions was delayed by a year. I had a feeling that I will never weep for her or think of her but I was wrong. Completely wrong. A year had already passed and now I can think of nothing except her. She was not getting out of my head. And you won’t believe, it took me 4 years to move on. Four whole years. That’s a huge amount of time spent on her even without realizing that she would never ever come to know that I missed her so much, so desperately. That day I understood why people say that no one can forget his/her first love.

Anyway, I was a hard-working guy. Now the thing is if you have a sibling who is an IITIAN, it is very tough for you or even say impossible for you to opt for commerce. You know. Male Ego. So I committed a second crime that lakhs of people in this country do, loving someone being first, choosing science and that too in order to pursue engineering. Yeah! I chose the road most taken. My parents did another monstrous crime. Sending me to Kota for coaching and that too alone. Now those who have been to Kota or any other cities for coaching, then you can relate easily. If you are a good student, it’s easier for you to survive because any way you are scoring good in tests and result speaks. If you are a bad student, still life is chill because now even your parents know that they have committed a huge mistake and you can spend their money like water. But but but. If you are an average student, you struggle. You struggle a lot. Because there is small hope of success in both you and your parents.

I will not brag about myself but I was a brilliant student who was struggling because I never concentrated in my studies. I used to go to a nearby teashop between my class breaks. I would just sit there drinking my cup of tea and thinking. Thinking about what? No, no, no. Not about why I am scoring less in my tests or which element gives crimson red colour as a flame test. I would just think about her. Think about Pragya. Yeah! You are right. That same girl. I would try various methods to get her out of my head, but she was stuck in my head like anything. But then something happened one day which I thought would change everything. I saw a very beautiful girl who had kajal in her eyes. ‘Kajal’ comprises of galena (PbS), minimum (Pb3O4), amorphous carbon, magnetite (Fe3O4), and zincite (ZnO). “Why the hell I am thinking of chemical composition of kajal at this moment”, I asked myself. And if you want to know what happened next, you may read this:

https://akshariitpkdsite.wordpress.com/2018/05/25/kajal/

Poonam and I had a good time together. We started making memories. Umm..not exactly memories because currently, it were just posts on Facebook and Instagram which might turn into memories, a year or two later. She was a junior and we cannot be always together, so we used to go for a walk in the evening. One evening we went a little far from the campus. She had something to tell but was not able to. So she asked me to cuddle her in my arms. I hugged her. Suddenly I felt something wet on my shoulders. Her tears have rolled down her cheeks all the way to my shoulder to wet my shirt. I did not utter a word. After a silence of a minute, she whispered something in my ear. Do you know what did she whisper? Actually, leave it for now. Some stories should have loose ends for it to be continued later.

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