Endless Waiting

-by Garima Katiyar


Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” –Paulo Coelho
I have never imagined a life like this…
One day when I was studying in the class deeply concentrated in my books someone tapped at my desk and when I looked up there he was, a 6 feet tall boy with fair cheeks, messy hairs, wearing a black shirt, having alcoholic eyes. My eyes got stuck on his face and trying to understand what his moving lips were telling but the effort went in vain and I couldn’t hear anything, just felt only his moving lips. When he moved his hand before my eyes, my hypnotism broke and I came to the real world. And I heard him saying, “Now for whom are you waiting for to move?”
I asked confused, “Where I have to move?”
I saw his face was making an expression of ‘what’s nonsense’ type and asked me “Haven’t you heard what I told you now?”
I replied “sorry but I didn’t pay attention to it, as I was remembering my theory.”
He insisted, “Move aside as there are no seats left vacant anywhere.”
So I moved aside and he sat next to me.
After some time he introduced himself, “Hey I am Reyansh.”
To which I replied, “Hello myself Rishika.”

From that day onwards we became friends. We used to spend most of our time sitting together in class, going for a short walk in the corridor in the break. Our bond got stronger day by day. From sharing benches to sharing notes, I felt like we were inseparable. We both have a common interest, love for coffee. So one day we decided to go to the nearby cafe and drink our favourite coffee.
I didn’t know but that day changed my life forever.
In the morning my friend Swati came and said excitedly: “You know there is something going on between Reyansh and Neha everyone is talking about them.”
I was shocked completely, “What are u saying! Are you out of your mind?”
“It’s true! Remember last year they performed together in the fest it started from there”, Sweta clarified.
“What! No, not at all! If this has happened, Reyansh should have told me. He never hides anything from me.” I convinced myself.
If this is true then!!, I felt the ground slipping under my feet. I was stunned. But Why? He is not my boyfriend. Is he? He is just my friend.
I was still lost in those thoughts, trying to make myself comfortable about what I heard in the morning when Reyansh came and asked me for coffee.
After 15 minutes of awkward silence, he asked,” What happened why are you not talking to me?”
He kept insisting to tell what is making me worried.
And finally, I broke the silence: “I want to ask something?”
“What do you want to ask? You don’t have to take permission for anything, just ask!”, He replied smiling.
“What’s going on between you and Neha? Don’t lie! I know about two of you. Why didn’t you tell me about it? Am I no one to you?” and with this, some tears rolled down from my eyes.
He looked straight in my eyes confused. He came near to me, shed my tears away and hugged me tightly. After a few minutes, my tears evaporated by his warmth of chest and I stopped crying.
Then, he sat on his chair and said: “A single drop of your tears can drown me, so please never cry again, I can’t bear this”, his voice became soft and more sweet with every upcoming word, ” And whatever you are talking is a complete rumour.”
“Really?” I wanted to confirm.
“Of course! If something like this is going to happen then you will be the one to know first.”
I felt relaxed.
“He is mine”, I said to myself, “there’s no one between us.”
He said, “Rishika, I want to tell you something.”
His eyes were bright from an unknown positive light. I got a little bit confused about what he wants to tell, “Yeah sure.”
Reyansh held my hand, looked straight in my eyes and said, “Honey. You make me feel alive. You understand me? I can’t imagine my life without you. I want to be with you forever. I loved you always and always will!”
I was speechless. I wanted to say a lot of things but I only managed to say “I love you too!”
That was the happiest day of my life. The one who was always with me is mine and I am his.
Everything was going fine we are happy to have each other. One day I was in the home for any reason and I was in a very bad mood coincidentally he called. I talked to him for a few seconds and said that I will talk to you later.
“You don’t have time for me.” He said in a teasing way.
I don’t know what made so rude, “What do you think I am just making an excuse.” I continued, “Fine, it’s not working out. Let’s break up.” and I hung up the phone. Just after a few hours, I realized what I said. I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t know why I said so which I will never think about even in my dreams. I desperately waited for his call the whole day and night but he didn’t call.
Next day when I met him at college, Reyansh had tears in his eyes which I never saw before. What made me feel worse is the fact that he has tears only because of me.
“I apologize for yesterday”. I said.
He asked, “Why? Why you said that.”
“I don’t know dear. I am sorry for that please forgive me.” I wiped his tears away and hugged him tightly for a long moment.
“Never ever say such type of things again”, he said in a miserable voice.
“I promise, I won’t”
“I love you more than anything,” He said in a childish way.
“I love you too”
Our faces were so close I can feel his warm breath. My heart beat increased. I looked in his eyes. The most beautiful eyes in the world in which I can see how much he loves me. I love the way he stares at me. He held my face in his hand and then pressed his lips gently against mine. Blood boiled under my skin. My breath came in wild gasp. My finger knotted in his hair clutching him to me. Next moment we were sitting in the same coffee shop.
A year passed, we had a lot of fights but in the end, we always ended telling how much we love each other.
We were not living in the same place. Our jobs were in different states. Everything was going fine but one day we fought again and we don’t know the reason for this fight. But this fight was the longest one. We didn’t talk for days. It seemed like God doesn’t want us to talk anymore. Whenever he called I was busy and won’t be able to take call and vice versa.
Few weeks past I started missing him badly. At night I called him. I thought destiny wants us to be together again. Reyansh received the call, we talked for hours telling how much I missed him to which he replied he missed me too. But even after all this, we were not the same as before. Everything changed now we didn’t talk for weeks. I knew he misses me I miss him too but we didn’t know what we wanted in our life. Our relationship was going complicated day by day.
After a month, I don’t know if it seems like I am so desperate but all I want is him. I can’t live without Reyansh. So I wrote an email –
“I love you. My intention was not to hurt you and if I did for that I am sorry. In deep of my heart, I know you miss me too. I remember each and everything you said to me, every single moment we spent together. I am begging you please come back. I don’t want anything only you and you.”
I attached a voice message too in which I recorded a song for him- “I love you for a thousand years, I love you for a thousand more.”
I am just waiting for his reply. I don’t have any strength left to call him again. Now I am lying in my rock chair wondering whether he will come back or not. What if he doesn’t? This is the hardest questions which I am afraid of. I don’t know what will happen now. I only know that I will wait for him always.
“If I am really a part of your dream, you’ll come back one day.” I said to myself, “I might have to wait but I’ll never give up.”
I guess it’s half timing and the other half is luck.

“Waiting is a sign of true love and patience.
Anyone can say I Love You, But not everyone can wait and prove it true.”

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